BLUE is actually RED & YELLOW

BLUE is actually RED & YELLOW

The price was Rs. 220/-. The coffee was for 80/-, a bottle of water for 30/-. Parking charge was 20/- and Petrol (Including wear and tear of my car) was 50/-. The grand total is Rs. 400/-. Only Rs. 400/- taught me what no Film School in the world could have taught. I never believed in the practice of Film School and now I am sure all you have to do is spend 400/- and learn film making. But also congratulations to the makers of Blue that they have spent 100 crores to teach art of cinema. I would like to share the lessons that I have learnt. This is the least I could do to contribute to the charity that the makers are doing.

Lesson Number 1.

Do not take close up shots of your actors. The wider the shot, the better the performances. Although sometimes the actors manage to spoil the beautiful visuals too by their body languages that can not be hidden in the wide shots. But that is the safest bet because the moment you go close on actor’s face, it becomes difficult to understand the mood of the scene if it is humorous, tragic, emotional or a moment of thrill.

Lesson Number 2.

If you have a heroine whao has the figure of Lara Dutta, then please, please, please make sure your camera is concentrating at the right places, whatever the emotion of the scene. That helps in holding the scene together.

Lesson Number 3.

Shot takings are all about sudden zoom ins, extreme close ups of objects and of eyes. Do not worry about the feelings that you need to show in the eyes, they can be added in post production. After all more than half the film is made in post production only,  the rest is waiting to be made.

Lesson Number 4.

Costumes are very important and they need to be carefully selected. For example if you have a hero who has a beer belly, make sure that you give him tight fit Tees. After all the guy has spent a good amount on beers and also considerate amount of time in guzzling them. So give him his dues. Also if the scene is highly depressing, then dresses should be brighter, bright enough to drown the darkness created with pain by the director of photography.

Lesson Number 5.

The most important aspect of making a film is to get the writer eliminated if he tries to come with a story. How dare he do that? If you have a good story then how can you make a film. To make a good film, chuck the story and rely on everything else.

Lesson Number 6.

The promotional budget of your film should be equivalent to the complete budget of half a dozen films (of moderate budget). If you are able to project your film as the costliest film ever made then you have a great film in your hand. Don’t bother about the screenplay, performances etc. They are, in any case not important for a good film.

Lesson Number 7.

If you want to make a film, just watch Hollywood blockbusters, pick up scenes, even if they are outdated and officially outsourced, copy them (sometimes frame by frame) and BINGO, you have a movie. Also please compare your film with those of Raj Kapoor, Guru Dutt, Bimal Roy, Hrishikesh Mukherjee and any other name that you have heard over the years.

The name may be BLUE but all I could see was RED & YELLOW (Laal-Peela).

Thanks Ashtvinayak, Dillon and Anthony for this public service. God Bless You Guys!